Remembering Lucy

I never quiet understood why people actually 'grieved' the loss of a pet like it was a human. I tend to be a pretty black and white person and truth is- pets are not human! Well that all changed Easter Sunday 2013. 5 days ago to be exact.

Lets go back a bit first. Our sweet Lucy was given to us by Michael's dad and stepmom. They had gotten her Thanksgiving day of 2011. She was a bit too rambunctious and much bigger than the 'teacup yorkie' they were promised. So February came and Lucy's new home become our house. We were BEYOND THRILLED! We had wanted a pup but just couldn't decide on a breed. Lucy was truly God's gift to us. We originally wanted a golden retriever but we just couldn't get over their heavy shedding! Well Lucy was a golden in a yorkies body. A rather large yorkie to be honest. Everyone that met her first noticed those ears of hers. They could be spotted from a mile away. They were my favorite quirky physical attribute about her! Then they noticed how she was the biggest yorkie they had seen! 9 lbs 4 oz to be exact.

She never met a stranger. This girl loved everyone! She loved snuggles, food (even the cheese mom would purposely drop for her while cooking) being outside, and car rides. At night she thought she was real sneaky. She would go lay in her kennel then make her way to our bed. She would sleep at our until she knew we were asleep- then the little toot would sneak up and literally steal my pillow. She slept on her back, head on my pillow- just like m and I. Real sneaky :) we would wake up, look at her and smile ear to ear.
Lucy was literally our first child. She was the first thing Michael and I nurtured together, raised and loved. She was our first big responsibility and we LOVED IT! She fit in with us perfect. Almost too perfect. She was a Stewart all right. Ready for bed around 8:30, obsessed with popcorn (she would sit and bark at m until he gave her some- somehow she always knew when he has popcorn, not matter how well he tried to hide it from her), loved car rides, loved showers (yes- she LOVED them!!) and hated cats. She was so a part of our family.

So when we decided to make a trip to Alabama to see Michaels sister it wasn't even a question if she would go with us. Of course she would! She would ride shotgun with mom the whole way. Lay her face on my tummy and look up at me when she would feel Nixon kick, sit up on her back legs to watch birds fly over, watch dad drive intensely and be waiting with those big ears of hers for us when we would come back to car after a bathroom break. (Being 25 weeks pregnant, we take many a bathroom breaks on trips now!)
When we got to Tuscaloosa Lucy met Catcher, Angela's dog and her kids and they were instant best friends. Go figure. She had the most adventurous, free and curious spirit so she loved their huge back yard. But that big yard- about 10x the size of ours wasn't quiet enough for her. She ventured under the gate to explore the woods that were surrounding the house. I should have worried but I really wasn't. She had gotten out earlier that Saturday morning and came right back. So I assumed (I now know why they say to never assume!) she would come right back. The girl never missed a meal so I figured it wouldn't be long. The rain started to come and the sun started setting. Still no Lucy. Our hearts sank. Michael looked at me and quietly said, 'baby- I don't think we will be going home with our girl.' I refused to believe it so I sat out in the rain squeaking her favorite toy and calling her name. She was such a confident and adventurous dog! I just knew she would find her way back to us. It was Easter weekend so everything was closed. Sunday morning I left messages at several shelters and heard nothing. We drove around and posted signs in a million places. We tried to continue with the Easter spirit. We didn't want to take away from our special trip to visit family. So we hunted Easter eggs with the kids and went to Easter lunch. We both wore smiles but our hearts were heavy. So heavy. We came home that evening and I had enough. I told M that I needed closure. I was going to walk the woods and knock on doors until I found my girl- dead or alive. M joined me. After much search we were walking back to the house. I told m in a discouraged voice- I can't drive 9 hours home tomorrow and not know where she is. I just need closure. Well the word closure didn't even make it fully out of my mouth when we looked over and there our sweet baby girl was. Laying in the woods. She had been hit by and car and obviously placed over in the woods. Praise Jesus she was in one piece. It could have been so much worse. She almost looked peaceful except for the blood coming out of her nose. Here is your closure said The Lord. We wept- we sat in the drizzle and mud and cried. We had her favorite toy with us and I had an extra t shirt on. We wrapped up our baby girl and sobbed. My ever so strong husband buried our girl while I sat there falling apart. Our first baby was gone! She may have been a dog but if anyone understood what m and I shared with her they would know how our hearts crumbled. We had been given out closure and The Lord allowed for us two to be together when we found her. It was just the three of us- just as it had always been.

The 9 hour drive home was somber. It rained on and off, tears came and went as well as the laughter that came with memories of her. She really was a sweet girl but boy could she be an absolute toot at times! The last 5 days have been hard but filled with so many memories. We feel beyond blessed that God would entrust her to our family. She blessed us and taught us more than we ever imagined. She was going to be an AWESOME sister to Nixon.

Through this The Lord has taught me a lesson that I thought I knew already. He refined the lesson and made it a reality. I've learned to always hold things with an open hand. Nothing is mine- no matter how much work I put into it or how much joy it may bring my life. All things on this side of heaven belong to our father and are made to bring him honor and glory. I've also learned a bit more compassion. I now know the hurt one feels when they lose a pet and I will sympathize way more now than I did in the past. Thank you lord for using a trial and heart ache to shape me to be more like you. It's hard but you are worth it father.

Lucy will forever be cherished in our home. Her picture hangs by the window in her favorite spot and her memory book is in the shipping process. And now we wait. We wait for Nixon's arrival and know that a whole new level of love will soon fill our hearts!

Thanks for reading my ramblings. Writing has always been therapeutic for me!

Much love,
B

Prayer is Pertinent

Hello long lost blog world. I've been oh so distracted from the whole reason I started a blog! There are lots of distractions going on these days but the biggest one is our little bundle that's in the making and due to make its grand entrance in July!!! We are beyond thrilled for this new journey. I think I am still in complete shock that our Heavenly Father would entrust such a special gift to Michael and I. I am fully aware that this child will simply be on loan to us from our Savior. After all, we all belong to him after all, don't we? I pray that we always hold this little one with an open hand and trust our Lord to lead us in raising him/her.
Speaking of prayer.... I listened to a wonderful message this morning from focus on the family. I was so encouraged and challenged. I'd love to share that challenge with you. The topic was prayer and though it was directed at grandparents, I walked away feeling as if I had been distracted (once again) by this world and had forgotten about the power of prayer. Do you want your walk with The Lord to be intensified and more intimate? I know I do. We can't forget how prayer leads us to the throne and draws our heart to our true love. With that being said, I know, if you're like me, you pray about many things! Friendships, relationships, work, family, finances, etc.... We even pray for this little one growing inside me and their life call, future spouse, health, and so on. Well, this message spoke on the importance of asking for the Holy Spirit to pour out on your child, grandchild, spouse, etc. When we ask Christ to meet with us, he does! So when we ask for the Holy Spirit to be with those we love, he will! How encouraging! I love the idea that by us simply meeting with our father and praying on behalf of someone, especially those we love the most, we are opening an opportunity for our loved ones to be ministered to, challenged and grow in their own walk.

Join me.... Lets lift up and pray for the Holy Spirit to meet with someone we care about today.

sopapilla cheesecake

oh heavens. boy do i have some sinful yumminess to share with you! first let me start off by saying that i cannot take credit for this recipe. when i was an RA our RD Lindsay used to make this for us. she totally won my heart by doing so :) this recipe is so good and bad for you at the same time that i only make it once a year. typically at Thanksgiving or Christmas. this year i couldn't hold off for another 6 months so i broke down and made it early!

1 Teaspoon of Vanilla
2 packs of cream cheese
3/4 cup of sugar
2 cans of crescent rolls

first lay out 1 can of crescent rolls in a 9x13 pan

mix together the cream cheese, vanilla and sugar

im a hand mixer girl- only in the case that i can't
 use a spoon. i want to feel the consistency!

dont judge- a girl can always lick the spoon! 

spread the mixture on top of the crescent rolls then lay
 out the other can of rolls on top. that easy!
like my piggy spatula?! :)

yep! licking the spoon AGAIN- You only live once 

does anyone else the living crap scared out of them by the loud
POP of the crescent package?! it is typically the mister's job to
open these- but he wasn't home in time today :( 

before putting it in the oven, melt some butter and
 pour over the top. paula deen would be so proud 

then sprinkle  drown that puppy in cinnamon sugar!

bake at 350 for 30 minutes

YUMMY!




go ahead, i dare you. try this awesomeness out. its quick, easy and delicious! i try to convince the hubs that it is even breakfast material considering it is crescent rolls and cream cheese. he's not buying it.

let me know your thoughts once you've tried it!

sprucing up the place part 2

this weekend we continued with some of the projects we had started last weekend and FINALLY finished a project that was started er.... about 3 months ago. :/ its about dang time. lets start with the project from 3 months ago and go ahead and get it off my chest. we finished painting the walls in our stairway. the reason this took so long is because it was way more complicated than we i originally thought. you see... our walls in our stairway are probably about 15 or so feet high- quiet possibly higher. now that requires a big climb in order to cut in. i'm a weenie- i'll be the first to say it. so... i patiently waited until my super awesomely brave hubs decided it was time to make the climb. :) all that said- our stairway is now finished! now to find something to put on that huge wall.... ideas are more than welcome! ;) we are also debating continuing this color into our living room and kitchen, which is currently a creamy/yellow. thoughts?! 

almost done! 3 months ago this wall was still white

finished! decor ideas anyone?!

we also ALMOST completely finished our bathroom. just waiting on the towels and few more small decor pieces. and possibly a small country/chic chandelier to replace the  lighting we currently have :) i was inspired by the shower curtain below. {so that is how we picked the paint color. for those who know me- i FEAR color. its so bold... but the hubs said its time to branch out- so i trusted that man and boy was he right!} anywho-  i loved that shower curtain so much that i couldn't put it in the guest bath. it had to be in ours- but we have a glass shower. so instead, i installed that sucker above our glass shower doors to fill in the high ceiling above it. after a couple of corner shelves, a new hobby lobby clock {80% off!!}, staining the cabinets and installing that mirror {which i promise isn't crooked- the previous home owner replaced the lighting and didn't exactly line it up with the sink- insert annoyed laugh} it is finished! or almost... close enough to post though!

ps- i found these awesome lamps for the living room at marshalls for $30/piece!! 

i love home ownership! if i could stay home all day every day and decorate, update, redo, etc. my heart would be so happy :) btw- please forgive my awful picture taking skills. majority of pics will be blurry or crooked. i just can't help it! haha and... i need blogging 101! can't figure out my font! :/

enough about our updates.... tell me about yours! 

sprucing up the place

this weekend we did a little of what i like to call sprucing up our home. one of the biggest things i heard when buying our house was people saying how there is always something to do to your home. this is proving to be very true! there is always a new idea, project or decor piece that seems to come up. we have a running sheet of home projects. thanks to the awesome website i heart organizing for the super cute home project printable! some of our to-do's are big some are little and just take a little thought and effort. and oh yea... $$$ :)

this weekend's to-do consisted of:
~ replace bathroom mirror (halfway done)
~ buy {comfy} rug for living room (done!)
~ start pulling up rocks in backyard (done!)
~ make and hang a diy scripture sign above laundry doors (done!)
~ get bedside tables (postponed until this weekend)

i'd say it was a pretty successful weekend. below are some pics of the progress!

our carpet and new mirror for bathroom!

about to remove the old mirror... thats another story!

my handsome man putting down the comfy stuff

done! Lucy approves :)

scripture sign i made from old fence pieces- thanks again Rach for the inspiration! 

heres to blogging.

well.... i've said it over and over, "i won't get a blog", and here i am writing my first post! i'm not sure what all this blog will entail but through it my hopes are to encourage, inspire and challenge those who stumble upon this thing. :) the plan is to touch on topics like recipes, diy projects, things the Lord is teaching me in my walk, home updates and whatever else comes to mind.  

btw- i have no idea what i am doing, so please forgive me as i learn this template and layout thingy. 

lets start with some lessons the good Lord has been wrecking my heart with...

sunday we visited city church international with some friends. it was wonderful. very, very different than the structured, picture perfect church i've known my whole life. m and i walked away with alot for our heart to reflect on as far as our view of church and what church is supposed to look like biblically. the speaker was a student from dts and the words the Lord laid on his heart to speak came at me like a huge spotlight was shining down! for those who don't know me well, failure is something that i have been blessed not to have experienced very much this far in life. until lately.... {now i am being very raw/vulnerable/transparent, whatever you want to call it and i am finding it tough to type this} anyways, i graduated college in may 2011. for whatever reason i changed my degree to psychology my sophomore year. so upon graduation i could do nothing, zilch, zap with my degree. wahoo!! {intense sarcasm!} so i kept working at the place and i was and tried a new position. needless to say, i wasn't feeling it. i moved on and nannyed for a few months, that wasn't fulfilling my gifts either. then i got this wonderful teaching job at a mdo program so close to my house. i have loved every second of it!!! however, it is only two days a week. this would be perfect if we had kids, but we don't. common sense tells me that while we don't have kids i should work as hard as possible {meaning a full time job} until the day comes that we start a family. this is where failure has come in and hit me like a ton of bricks. never did i think i would be the college grad that couldn't find a full time job in a field that i like. so this has been a tough, guilty filled journey lately. all that to say.... here are a couple of quotes and passages that the lord used to wake me and shake me on sunday. i hope they encourage you as they have me!

"our worst fear should be not failure, but succeeding at something that doesn't matter."      Dwight L. Moody

"patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. then you will receive all that he has promised." hebrews 10:36 

moving from a small arkansas town 5 years ago to a big city definitely has changed my view on several things- both good and not so good. living in dallas has opened the doors to way more distractions. i have never seen more focus on cars, houses, business titles, clothes etc. than i do now. boy does that quote from Moody come to mind. success will be measured by our heavenly father, not by staying up to date on the latest fad or the largest fortune 500 company. my challenge to you and myself is to stop and examine what you are seeking out to accomplish. is it ultimately for further the kingdom of Christ? will this success make an impact on individuals lives for the better? 

and lastly- the verse from hebrews talks about patient endurance. personally i feel like this is much easier said than done. endurance can be tough, especially when you aren't faced with failure often. join me in praying for more patient endurance...