Lets go back a bit first. Our sweet Lucy was given to us by Michael's dad and stepmom. They had gotten her Thanksgiving day of 2011. She was a bit too rambunctious and much bigger than the 'teacup yorkie' they were promised. So February came and Lucy's new home become our house. We were BEYOND THRILLED! We had wanted a pup but just couldn't decide on a breed. Lucy was truly God's gift to us. We originally wanted a golden retriever but we just couldn't get over their heavy shedding! Well Lucy was a golden in a yorkies body. A rather large yorkie to be honest. Everyone that met her first noticed those ears of hers. They could be spotted from a mile away. They were my favorite quirky physical attribute about her! Then they noticed how she was the biggest yorkie they had seen! 9 lbs 4 oz to be exact.
She never met a stranger. This girl loved everyone! She loved snuggles, food (even the cheese mom would purposely drop for her while cooking) being outside, and car rides. At night she thought she was real sneaky. She would go lay in her kennel then make her way to our bed. She would sleep at our until she knew we were asleep- then the little toot would sneak up and literally steal my pillow. She slept on her back, head on my pillow- just like m and I. Real sneaky :) we would wake up, look at her and smile ear to ear.
Lucy was literally our first child. She was the first thing Michael and I nurtured together, raised and loved. She was our first big responsibility and we LOVED IT! She fit in with us perfect. Almost too perfect. She was a Stewart all right. Ready for bed around 8:30, obsessed with popcorn (she would sit and bark at m until he gave her some- somehow she always knew when he has popcorn, not matter how well he tried to hide it from her), loved car rides, loved showers (yes- she LOVED them!!) and hated cats. She was so a part of our family.
So when we decided to make a trip to Alabama to see Michaels sister it wasn't even a question if she would go with us. Of course she would! She would ride shotgun with mom the whole way. Lay her face on my tummy and look up at me when she would feel Nixon kick, sit up on her back legs to watch birds fly over, watch dad drive intensely and be waiting with those big ears of hers for us when we would come back to car after a bathroom break. (Being 25 weeks pregnant, we take many a bathroom breaks on trips now!)
When we got to Tuscaloosa Lucy met Catcher, Angela's dog and her kids and they were instant best friends. Go figure. She had the most adventurous, free and curious spirit so she loved their huge back yard. But that big yard- about 10x the size of ours wasn't quiet enough for her. She ventured under the gate to explore the woods that were surrounding the house. I should have worried but I really wasn't. She had gotten out earlier that Saturday morning and came right back. So I assumed (I now know why they say to never assume!) she would come right back. The girl never missed a meal so I figured it wouldn't be long. The rain started to come and the sun started setting. Still no Lucy. Our hearts sank. Michael looked at me and quietly said, 'baby- I don't think we will be going home with our girl.' I refused to believe it so I sat out in the rain squeaking her favorite toy and calling her name. She was such a confident and adventurous dog! I just knew she would find her way back to us. It was Easter weekend so everything was closed. Sunday morning I left messages at several shelters and heard nothing. We drove around and posted signs in a million places. We tried to continue with the Easter spirit. We didn't want to take away from our special trip to visit family. So we hunted Easter eggs with the kids and went to Easter lunch. We both wore smiles but our hearts were heavy. So heavy. We came home that evening and I had enough. I told M that I needed closure. I was going to walk the woods and knock on doors until I found my girl- dead or alive. M joined me. After much search we were walking back to the house. I told m in a discouraged voice- I can't drive 9 hours home tomorrow and not know where she is. I just need closure. Well the word closure didn't even make it fully out of my mouth when we looked over and there our sweet baby girl was. Laying in the woods. She had been hit by and car and obviously placed over in the woods. Praise Jesus she was in one piece. It could have been so much worse. She almost looked peaceful except for the blood coming out of her nose. Here is your closure said The Lord. We wept- we sat in the drizzle and mud and cried. We had her favorite toy with us and I had an extra t shirt on. We wrapped up our baby girl and sobbed. My ever so strong husband buried our girl while I sat there falling apart. Our first baby was gone! She may have been a dog but if anyone understood what m and I shared with her they would know how our hearts crumbled. We had been given out closure and The Lord allowed for us two to be together when we found her. It was just the three of us- just as it had always been.
The 9 hour drive home was somber. It rained on and off, tears came and went as well as the laughter that came with memories of her. She really was a sweet girl but boy could she be an absolute toot at times! The last 5 days have been hard but filled with so many memories. We feel beyond blessed that God would entrust her to our family. She blessed us and taught us more than we ever imagined. She was going to be an AWESOME sister to Nixon.
Through this The Lord has taught me a lesson that I thought I knew already. He refined the lesson and made it a reality. I've learned to always hold things with an open hand. Nothing is mine- no matter how much work I put into it or how much joy it may bring my life. All things on this side of heaven belong to our father and are made to bring him honor and glory. I've also learned a bit more compassion. I now know the hurt one feels when they lose a pet and I will sympathize way more now than I did in the past. Thank you lord for using a trial and heart ache to shape me to be more like you. It's hard but you are worth it father.
Lucy will forever be cherished in our home. Her picture hangs by the window in her favorite spot and her memory book is in the shipping process. And now we wait. We wait for Nixon's arrival and know that a whole new level of love will soon fill our hearts!
Thanks for reading my ramblings. Writing has always been therapeutic for me!
Much love,
B
